now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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