you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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