We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
