Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
