too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
