yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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