You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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