I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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