My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
