garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
