I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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