My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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