In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
