I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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