I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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