How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
