Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
