no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
