Your mouth is God's brothel.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My vagina just recognized that song.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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