If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
