I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
