Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
