so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
