Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
