If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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