I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
