How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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