I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
third nipple confirmed
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
