i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
