Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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