Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
