her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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