We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
