so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I party with great urgency now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
