the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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