maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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