While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
