You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
