How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
