just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
