No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
