so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
