my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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