I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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