Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
