The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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