Porn is love you can see.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
