Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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