Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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