thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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