My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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