Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
