i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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